Well this is quite annoying. You see I was driving home from church this morning and had the most amazing idea for a new post topic. Then I got home and busy with stuff, then took a nap, and now I’ve completely forgotten!!!! Uhg bug lug! This is really silly! Well if I remember it I’ll post it so ya’ll can then know. Until then, I just give you all a brief update on what’s going on in my life.
It is now a week after the BreakDown Regional Conference 2010, and it was amazing!! I am still processing and trying to understand at a deeper level some of the stuff we learned. I’m also missing the people from Kentucky, STL, and Chicago!! I had such a great time getting to know everyone and growing in the Lord. I miss them all like crazy! I’ve always loved to hear people give their testimony, lessons they’ve learned, or how God has impacted their lives, but I have never been so moved by them like I was at the conference. They were all so powerful, and God used their stories to reach me in profound ways!
I’ll be honest, things haven’t been all wonderful and all “spiritual high” for me. I didn’t feel like I was “on fire for God” or anything like that…I already have that a lot. This time it was more of a quiet calm. A peace and a loving warm embrace is the best way that I can describe it. Within this past week, I’ve had made stormy moments and I’m having to fight some battle even now, but every time I start to let myself run away with the depressed and overwhelmed feeling, I stop and run into the arms of Jesus, through prayer. It is amazing how after talking my head off to Him, crying some tears, and singing some of my fave Christian songs, how much peace and even joy I’ve felt!! I now just have this amazing peace that every time I start to stress out it’s like, Jesus is right there saying, “calm down, keep your eyes on me, I won’t let you sink!”
It is such a wonderful thing when you really come to understand this and put running to Him into practice! As some of you may know, I’m a worrier. I get stressed out easily. I am also used to having minor panic attacks often. Finally coming to understand this has been so freeing for me!
All this has also been put to the test this week especially, because I found out that I am now 26th on the waiting list for an apartment. My mom told me that when she asked if I’d have one by Christmas, the lady said that you can always hope. There is the reality that I might not even get it until next fall. This is very hard for me to handle… I’m a planner, big stuff like this needs to have a set-in-stone date, time, and place. Little things I can handle just “winging it.” So this has been a huge challenge for me! We have talked about looking at other apartments in the area….along with a few other options. None of those other options are that great though. As much as I want things settled now, I keep feeling like God is telling me walk in faith and be patient. I keep asking Him what this walking in faith means because I can’t pack up everything only to find out that I won’t be moving until next fall. Then to complicate things more, I am in the process of looking for a job. My mom pointed out that it would be silly to get a job downtown if I am still living up north with my parents, yet it would also be silly to get a job here if I end up moving downtown. I still keep hearing God say, “walk in faith.” So, I’m still trying to figure out what this really means… I guess one way I’ll now if I’m “walking in the right direction” is where, when, or if I get a job.
Life is one big crazy adventure! I’m learning to not try to handle everything myself, but to run to God with it and let Him help me with it all! =)
Hope ya’ll are enjoying your summer and growing in the Lord!
Have a great Sunday!