To the Ones Who Think They Should have it Figured Out by Now

You ever had that moment when you find yourself asking if you could do anything in the world what would it be, but instead of something immediately coming to mind, you sit there with nothing.  I recently had that moment.  I have a heart for where I work, and I don’t have a great life, but someone recently asked me what my dreams are.  They asked me that if I could do anything in the world what would it be.  I sat there and honestly the only thing that came to mind was travel, but the question was pertaining to a career.  I want to do something that matters.  Something that will make a difference.  I thought back to the things I dreamed I would as I grew up and even as I graduated college.  But those dreams seem to keep changing as I grow.  The question made me realize that somewhere in the middle of growing up, being responsible, and the daily routine of life, I forgot to dream.  I forgot to ask God what the dreams He has for me.  In trying to figure out who I am in Christ, I forgot to include my future.  I found myself feeling lost.

Seriously, I thought by 27 I would have life figured out better than I do now.  News flash, I don’t.    To be honest at times I feel more lost and more confused then all the time I was in school.  I guess that’s because when you’re in school you have people telling

martin-sattler-120937you not to worry because you have time to figure it all out, but now everyone is like “Get yo stuff together girl!”  And I’m like how the heck do I do that?!  I feel lost.  Like I’m in a kayak in the middle of the freaking ocean and I have no idea where the heck I am…I am lost, floating in the middle of the ocean with no idea what I am doing or where I am going.  I feel like I should have some idea by now, I have been here for awhile, I should see land, right?  I Look at everyone else my age and they seem to have it together.  They either have the cute growing families or are enjoying being young and single.

 

Then it hits me, “I’m young!”  I forgot that…I forgot that I am young and single.  And yes, that doesn’t mean I’m looking to party the night away or date a bunch of guys (yes, I am afraid to admit I went through that phase).  But it does mean I have the freedom to go on the adventures my heart longs for.  To attempt to start a side business with my photos or something, and if it works, yay!  If it doesn’t, no harm done.  Maybe it’s about discovering who I am in Christ.  It’s about growing my relationship with Christ while figuring out what my dreams are.  What things I’m passionate about, what makes me happy, and what I enjoy.  I spent so long trying to be the person people wanted me to be that I lost who God created me to be.

Maybe this floating in the ocean journey is okay.  Maybe I’m not supposed

to have it all figured out.  Maybe I still have time to figure it out, time to be young, to figure out my dreams, to go on adventures.  Maybe this is all part of figuring out who God created me to be.  And maybe it’s part of figuring out the dreams He has for me.  In the end, the most important thing is that I’m seeking God at every turn.  Because He has the ultimate path for me and my dreams.

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