For those who don’t really know me, my dream is to have a small farm someday and I love gardening. Although right now it’s container gardening on my patio. Anywho, I watch a few YouTube channels about farm life and gardening to learn all that I can and cultivate that dream. I had one in the background this morning and she was talking about once you garden you are a gardener and even if you feel you’ve failed at gardening and not gotten a harvest there is still value. Because even without a harvest of vegetables or whatever you were growing there is a harvest of wisdom. You learn what to do differently, or what to try next. Nothing is waisted and you are still a gardener. And because of that you need not get discouraged but just keep trying.
I think the same can be applied in our walk with Jesus. We sometimes spend all sorts of time pouring into and praying for and with people only to have them walk away from us or reject the hope in Christ we had been praying they’d take hold of. And if you step into intentional discipleship/ mentorship this definitely true. I remember when I was first stepping into college ministry with a campus Christian group I was part of. I was so nervous. I felt completely unprepared and unqualified. But I had people praying for me and saying they had my back. But the first couple of gals I had felt like complete failures. The first, looking back now, had completely different expectations of what mentoring looked like and what my role was in her life. And because of that she later made it clear how much I hurt her. That broke my heart. And never was my intention. The other just didn’t go anywhere and eventually lost all contact with her. And even my longest mentorship at times felt like a failure. At times I told God well shoot, I screwed this up. But I would learn and have intentional conversations with her and we’d keep going. And even from those first couple of “train wrecks” I learned. I now start each mentoring, or anything really even friendship with something like this, “I just need you to know. I’m human so as much as I don’t want to hurt you, I will at some point. So when that happens, come to me and I’m not going to be mad and let’s talk this through.” And we talk through Biblical conflicts and resolution and expectations for our time together. I learned from those “failure” experiences and harvested wisdom.
And even if your “failure” experiences have seemed a complete loss. I believe that if you look even at your walk with God it had to have been impacted and strengthened your faith or understanding in some way. Even if it is just drawing close to Him in your disappointment and letting Him love you there. There is always wisdom to harvest.