Summer had always been my favorite

Long days creek wading

And braids without care

Catching lightning bugs at night

Writing stories I’d act out on my own

The woods was were I could be found

Spending hours pretending to be a pioneer traveling west

A cow girl or an Indian Chief’s daughter

I made my daylight hours house out of thick leaved branches

And enclosed three sides with old boards and branches

In the middle to sit was a two fallen logs just the right size for me to comfortably sit between

the fourth side was open wide to the creek that flowed

This was my safe space my play home

The woods my sanctuary

I had a heart of integrity

And a little spirit that knew no fear

Respect for nature flowed through my blood

And following rules

And what was right

Until the world

And rules

And what was true

Was shaken

and turned into something too mature

for my small child heart and mind to have a clue

For they were, where they weren’t supposed to be

Doing things they ought not be

And my little justice heart tried to do my part

I spoke the words that changed my history

I was too scared and small

And they older there was no escaping my faith’s downfall

Sunny blue skies didn’t seem to match the darkness that entered my heart

My best friend, Jesus, I telepathically communicated my plea

Because with threats and hand over my mouth I uttered no screams

But looked up to where You had always been

And waited for Your to answer like You always have

But I stared at that barn roof with its peeling white paint

And my rescue never came

As my word shattered that day

The birds still chirped and sang their song

And my heart grew angry and confused

Hot tears burn their way to the front of my eyes

I never felt so much anger

Anger at the blue sky

Angry at the happy birds chirping

Angry at why God, my best friend, hadn’t put things to an end

And I just wrote a story to blur my new reality

As I stared at that peeling barn roof and the bright blue sky

And for the first time I asked God “why”

And I wondered where He was

And why this all to me was done.

My love of the summer turned to dread

My faith shattered like the pieces of my heart

And the questions threatened to destroy the little glimmers of joy left

But I fought

I fought to hold on to the faith I had once so strongly knew

But fear and anger played their part in my mind

And child-like trust was greatly lost

And now years later my grown-up mind

Is slowly learning to love summer again

And trust God with my heart