Shannon, I wish I had been nicer to you

Gotten to know you more

Instead of judging as you walked through the door

Him with you and I had no clue

And even though we were friends

In my heart you were my spy mission

To figure out why he liked you

And why not me

Friends we became

But I hoped to steal him away

Or someone like him

To figure out why you always got the guy

And it was never me

But we had our laughs

And our crazy nights

And dramatic fights

I still remember that night

He and I had talked alone too long

You were in the middle of cheering and loud music trying to dull the pain of your parents divorcing

He less inebriated than you

He shared his heart

Things I had wondered about him from the start

The night’s air was enhancing our connection

Until you came over

Accusations flew

And mix up jabbing sentences you threw

Demanded to leave

Your keys in hand

I had to take a stand

You refused my sober offer

And compromised with giving him the ok to drive

I thought he was fine

Until the next day

I remember the text

I can still hardly say what happened next

You and him were still fighting

You couldn’t see that we weren’t conspiring

And some how some where

A tree, impact, and your car in the air

They say you died instantly

Like that was supposed to comfort

His life so touch and go

Guilt riddle my heart, but I couldn’t let it show

Shannon, if you only know how sorry I am for hurting you

And he and I never spoke again

Loosing you, meant loosing him

And 16 years seems far too young for all of us to face reality of our own mortality

17 years, he still had so much life to live

But the weight of loosing you grew

And what he had lived through

17 years, his car found- drowned

Off a bridge a second life gone

And I’m left wondering how the hell did it all go so wrong