Are you and silence friends or enemies?

I used to be at odds with silence. Silence freaked me out. It made me think. Mae me think about things I wanted to be distracted from. Plus, living in apartments, it cover up noisy neighbors. But even in my car i had to have the radio or music going. I enjoyed the quietness of nature but even with that I’d often have headphones with quiet background music or chattering away with friends. I had never really just sat in silence. Especially long periods of silence until almost a year ago. Actually the thought of sitting in silence for more than a couple of minutes scared me.

Then the shut down happened. And I got overwhelmed with technology and noise. I hit deep depression and loneliness, but also complete burned out on phone calls, text messages, and video chats. I was over podcasts, and tv, even music. It all seemed to remind me of what used to be and how it was not at this time. And so silence happened. I chattered away with God, but eventually I’d find myself sitting in silence. And those periods got longer and longer. And something amazing started happening. It’s hard to really explain, but it was like my brain was actually resting. For the first time calmness met me in the silence. And then joy met me there. Because God was there. Yes, God is always there…always with us, but I could hear Him. He was speaking. And was speaking so much and about so many things dear to my heart.

And there is a closeness that I’ve come to find when I just sit in the silence with God. To rest in Him. To sit in the heartbreak and silence and intentionally invite God into that silence with me. There’s a gentle peace and closeness with my Heavenly Abba I’ve found. And it’s brought me to a place of closeness with Him like I haven’t had before.

It makes me wonder how many times in our lives we are seeking God for answers or even just a closeness with Him but keep all the noise of life going expecting Him to shout above it all. Which sometimes He does, but sometimes He waits for us to sit with Him in silence. How many times I’d cry to Him for answers or to hear His voice and feel that closeness, when I’d get that prayer answered if I turned off the noise and just sat? How many things has my Heavenly Dad wanted to tell me that I missed because silence freaked me out?

Now I find myself craving silence. When I get in my car, especially in the morning, silence is almost always a must for me. I talk to my Abba, but more than that, I listen. Listen to what He has for me that day. What He wants to speak to my heart about. What sweet things He has for me as I start that day. And it sets my mind and heart in such a place of being in tune with the Holy Spirit and walking that day with my Heavenly Dad. And in the evening silence again calms my mind, and allows my to rest in the peace and joy that comes from the words of my Abba.

I would say that silence and I are friends, and my life is better for it.

So are you and silence friends?