As some of you know back in January I was hiking and didn’t see a low branch and smacked my head hard enough to get a concussion on it. Since then I’ve been struggling with my memory and feeling foggy and like my thoughts were moving through mud. At work I have had to keep sticky notes and to do lists everywhere and check them frequently to make sure I’m not forgetting things. Blog posts haven’t happened because forming thoughts and then getting them written was such long and exhausting process that I lost all inspiration. Processing new things has been super difficult and I often forgot conversation, things I read, heard, and such pretty quickly unless I had it written down to go back to. Taking notes at church or during meetings was the most frustrating because I found myself not able to process writing while also trying to listen. I saw a neurologist and was diagnosed that I definitely had a concussion and that it could take months to be back to normal. But the more I talked to friends with concussions the more discouraged I had gotten that this might be my life from now on. But God!!
The end of last week was totally not what I had planned or expected. I had been seeing this event popping up on my facebook so when a friend invited me to it I definitely was curious enough to go. It looked like a worship and teaching of some sort event. Thursday evening I showed up cautious about what it was all about as I always do with things that I don’t know a lot about. I had prayed that it would be a time of encouragement and refreshing as life had zapped so much of me lately that my relationship with God hadn’t been in a good place either. And over the next few days He moved in ways I was completely not expecting.
I’m not going into all the story here-but I’ll probably have a podcast about that, but God was stirring my heart to ways I had let the enemy get into my life and He was convicting me. By Saturday night the Holy Spirit was really pulling back layers and as I sat in my seat listening to what was said I was really wrestling with the tugging of the Holy Spirit and the enemy. When the service started to wrap up everything in me was saying run. Because that’s what I do when the spiritual battle gets intense I go into panic attack mode and run. But then my sweet friend pulled me into a hug I broke.
Now if y’all don’t know I HATE crying in public! Like seriously hate it. I’ve gotten used to tearing up and crying some at church, but this was uncontrollable deep crying. Honestly, I’ve never cried that hard and that long in public other than maybe one other time. And there are maybe three other times before that that I had ever cried that hard in my life. I get mad and run or driving around, but I don’t uncontrollably cry. But in that moment something broke in the ultimately best way possible. My sweet friend sat with me and listened to the things I was wrestling with and the things on my heart. And the urge to run dissipated. Then one of the pastors who had spoken that week came over and prayed over me for freedom from some of the things I had let in my life. I honestly was believing that God could heal and set free the areas of my heart that needed it, but I wasn’t excepting anything big. But I did feel peace and a lighter spirit than I had going into the night. The next morning the change I felt was legit different than I had ever felt. I plan to go into more of that in my podcast, but the completely unexspected difference I experienced hit me Monday at work.
I was nearing the end of my work day. I had typed out a detailed email with ease, kept on track knocking out tasks without having to stare at my to do lists to keep on track, and I had been having clear thoughts, and remembered conversations and names of people I had met over the past few days. All things that I hadn’t been able to do since my concussion. And y’all, it’s just continued! Even making writing this possible. And that wasn’t even something that was specifically prayed for, but God just did it! I’ve been able to multitask and and process things faster again. I was even able to retain and process through my Bible reading too! Until now doing that was almost non-existent and so frustrating. But the words in the verses I was listening to and then the ones I read later where jumping out and making sense like they used to. I had been reading but struggling with things making sense and clicking. It gave me such a refreshing and joy that I started making quite a loud praising Jesus scene that if someone was walking by my center they’d be really confused. lol But I couldn’t contain myself.
God is so good! I can’t even fully explain the clarity and difference I feel even just in my head. God does and is still doing miracles. God is still moving. God is still touching lives and setting people free. And I’m proof and so thankful that He is!
Redeemed Journey 